Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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