the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I wish you could order shots online.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
