I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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