Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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