i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
