do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
