Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
