I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
