It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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