umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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