I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Randomize
