I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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