And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
