We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
