Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize
