STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
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