Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
