Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
