I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
it's like heaven, but drunker
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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