you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
