oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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