I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I am one with the molecules
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
