idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
