God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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