trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
