Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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