I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
