I just saw a hot homeless man
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
