You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
