Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
