i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I want to have your abortion
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
