this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
