You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
