He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Fuck appropriateness.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
