i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
