The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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