Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
