just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
