you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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