Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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