i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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