you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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