Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
