I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
