hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
