I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
It was confusing and full of hummus
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
did you just send me my own nude
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