Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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