This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
