Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
