how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
someone owes me an orgasm
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
