your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
